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Late Night Political Jokes Updated - Dan the Serene
October 13th, 2009
06:50 am


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Late Night Political Jokes Updated
"President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said they gave it to Obama partly for his idealism and commitment to global cooperation, but mostly for calling Kanye West a jackass." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize comes with $1.4 million in cash. Or as Fox News reported it, 'Obama Caught Taking Bribe from Swedish Government.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The Nobel committee said he won for creating a new climate for international politics. which sounds so much nicer than 'In your face George Bush you cowboy asshole.'" --Bill Maher
[This sounds a lot like my version from a couple days ago]

"Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he's not too busy with the two wars he's conducting." --Bill Maher

"Congratulations to Barack Obama -- he has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently, the Nobel committee wanted to recognize the president's fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer. " --Jay Leno

"Vice President Biden was awarded the Nobel Hair-Piece Prize." --Jimmy Kimmel

"In a surprise decision, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize Friday. In other premature awards this week: high school football player Billy Reynolds has been named this year's Heisman Trophy winner; fifth grader Amber Collins has been named Miss America; and nine-year-old Dylan Holt has been named People's 'Sexiest Man Alive.'" --Seth Meyers

One of David Letterman's Top Ten Signs You Won't Win A Nobel Prize

  • 3. Devoted your life to creating a sushi that will still allow Jeremy Piven to act

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